Fear, Leaps of Faith + The Upstate House Part 2

The Perfect White Shirt to Wear When You're Not A Supermodel

Photo: @matt_russell

G’day!

Are you well? Hope so.

Fear is so cunning.

I’ve been busy writing and gearing up to film recipe videos for Substack. We’ll shoot in Fire Island. I’ve spent the month bargaining with myself about whether to go through with it. Part of me felt unprepared (I’ve since solved that by, well, preparing), but if I’m honest, the real driver was fear. Fear of putting myself out there. Of the production quality not being where I’d ideally want it. Of not liking how I look on camera, of not nailing the tone, etc.etc.. All the B.S. we tell ourselves.

But I tell my kids all the time, fortune favors the brave. Action is the antidote to fear.

I was looking at Jessica Lee Gagné’s work, the cinematographer on Severance for inspiration on how to shoot and edit. If my mini episodes looked and felt like this I’d be thrilled. I stumbled on this clip of her talking about taking a leap of faith when she was asked to direct an episode:

“This I was something that I really deeply wanted. This desire was something true for me. I was so afraid of it, to be honest, I didn’t want to be put in that kind of vulnerable space. It made me realize I really need to just go for it.”

It helps hearing this right? It’s a reminder that this is a universal feeling. We all experience it. One day, regardless of our controlling mind, our bodies might not be able to pursue the things we want. It doesn’t matter if it’s a personal ambition, a specific goal, a bucket list, trying something new in bed, communicating an uncomfortable truth, or simply inviting a new friend over for a meal... just do it. Life’s short.

I discovered this line drawing of the exterior of the house.

Buying the house upstate was a leap of faith.

I was in Fire Island when I stumbled on the listing for what is now our upstate home. We’d just moved back after a three year stint in San Francisco, and were ready for a new chapter. I’m always poking around on real estate sites to see what’s happening on the market in places I’m connected too.

It’s funny, I was never good at high school math. I hated it. But for some reason, I understand home buying. Mortgages, interest rates, refinancing, HELOC’s… it makes sense because my mum taught me. As a single parent, she’d often talk to my brother and I about the ins and outs of buying and selling, and share stories of the financial gymnastics she’d perform with the local bank manager. At the time, these conversations floated over me, but sank in later, demystifying the process. I think it’s essential for kids to understand the basics of money and home ownership, so have started talking to my kids about it too.

Nick and I have an ongoing joke: I find the properties, and he has the courage to pull the trigger. This house was one of those moments. A leap of faith, like so many we’ve taken. Like when I moved to New York to be with him after serving him in a bookstore in Sydney. Yes, that’s how we met. I sold him books. (I’ll tell that story in another post.)

Back to the house. The way I look at my relationship with this majestic property is as a custodian. My job, is to make sure this old beauty queen is looked after and loved.

I recently found this line drawing of the exterior view of the back of the house. I've always been a sucker for architectural drawings. The beauty, detail, precision and simplicity. It was tucked away up high on a dusty bookshelf. I’m guessing it was from when an extension was added to the back of the house, where the kitchen is now. One of the former owners lovingly restored the house over a twenty-year period. Thankfully, he did it carefully and methodically. So many people would have cut corners or fallen for fads, dropped ceilings, carpet, linoleum.

I think I'll get these drawings framed for keepsake. There’s a lot to dive into with this house. I still feel like I'm in the dating phase. Discovering things like these drawings helps me piece together it’s past.

Once upon a time, this entrance had a balcony. I’m not sure when it was taken down. Manifesting doing more filming here. My Upstate Call Me By Your Name. Would you like that?

The search for the perfect white shirt is over.

I know one person who subscribed just to get this white shirt recommendation. And honestly, I’d do the same.

The quest to find the perfect white shirt when you’re not a supermodel is over.

Lauren Hutton, Charlotte Gainsbourg…any shirt looks good on them. However, in aspiring to pull off effortless chic, I’ve had shirts that make me look boxy, short, or like a Roger Hargreaves character. Until the R13 Cotton Oxford Shirt came into my life. This is not a sponsored post btw. I just think its a classic that makes you feel put together.

Here’s what I love about it:

-it’s a great roll up your sleeves, get shit done shirt.

- the length. It’s not quite a shirt dress but could be around the house in summer. It’s great with jeans and a short skirt.

-the cotton is so light and crisp.

-you don’t have to be a stylist to pull off some good sleeve action.

-can go day or night.

-you’re bored of me saying this, but would be perfect over a swimsuit.

I like the styling on Net-A-Porter as you get to see the details of the shirt more, but Shopbop also sells it. I’m about 5’7” and wear a small. I really do sound like a fashion blogger :) But I’m want to save you time, and make you feel good when hosting and hanging.

Have at it!

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If you’re experiencing some fear, sometimes you just need one person to believe in you. Fear holds us back from new experiences, growth and fun. And I’m all about those things here at DEVOUR. I hope this post and meditation helps you overcome a personal hurdle. Thank you Marte! Any hard earned strategies you have learned? I’d love to hear them.

Thank you to everyone who has subscribed. I’m really loving building this Substack community. Don’t be shy in the comments, I want to hear from you! The paywall will be going up at the end of this month on the Thursday post, so if you want more simple recipes, tips and tricks for not sweating bullets when cooking for family and friends, lifestyle inspiration and life musings, and all the personal stuff, you know what ya got to do…

(If you buy something through my links, I may earn an affiliate commission or have a sponsored relationship with the brand, at no cost to you. I recommend only products I genuinely like. Thank you so much.)